Welcome to the website Defending Femininity.  I began this site with the hope and intention of “Sticking Up” for what I believe has been a bullied institution.  The idea, that to be “whole heartedly feminine”, is to signify a woman as a less important or valued creature is repugnant to me. Especially, when the truth is quite the opposite.  I believe this twisted conclusion is a clinched fist in the face of the truth.  Defying  the very purpose and intent of the one who first had the idea to make them male and female.

The modern conception that to be a valued woman you need to accomplish as opposed to nurture sucks… excuse me, I mean sucks the life out of the intent and purpose of the female.  I believe that everything of “lasting” or enduring value will flow from the woman’s nurturing instinct  i.e. femininity.  Everything else is more or less a second best by default or an enticing  smoke and mirrors deception to get her off course and focus her energies in less deserving directions.

I firmly believe that masculinity and femininity are completely and perfectly complementary.  Designed to have the most powerful impact on life when they work together in harmony   Utilizing, valuing and respecting the strengths and weakness of each particular gender.  Furthermore, I also believe chaos and dysfunction flows from the inability of men and women to embrace and execute the requirements of masculinity and femininity.

I place the unregulated brokenness of our culture firmly and squarely on the backs of men.  Wars, famine, prejudice, hatred, greed, selfishness, poverty, crime, etc…  Why?  Because I believe it is part of the “prewired”  masculine nature of men to protect and provide a responsible healthy and suitable world in which to live.   Instead men for the most part have strayed from the requirements of masculinity and instead have hidden themselves under the blankets of a lazy and selfish “me first” philosophy that has nothing to do with masculinity.  A boyish “take” as opposed to a mature and wise “give.”

On the other hand, the feminine nature “prewiring” calls them to be responsive.  So when men are dropping the ball in every corner of the planet who seems to be doing all the picking up?…..Hmmm. Don’t need to think to long about that one.

However as women are picking up all the dropped balls it causes me concern. As their arms get heavy with protecting,  providing, and bearing the weight of responsibility, who is left to do the nurturing.  Who is left to dispense the peaceful warmth, love, and fertilizing grace into the hearts of the children and the encouraging appreciation into the hearts of men.  Children are placed in climates void of love and men are left feeling like disposable items not important or needed.  Men are desperate to feel important and needed and when this is not communicated they can spiral even deeper into the darkness of selfish purposelessness.  And what follows is the world we live in.

I believe the only way of successful recovery is not do the men’s job for them but to call them on the carpet.  Say, “hey dude, this world and this family needs you.”  We need challenge.  We are simple. We understand clear language.  It is okay to tell us:” you are failing but I know you can do better.”  “I believe in you.”  “You need to rise up take responsibility, protect, provide, we need you”. Men need to feel needed.  Our resourceful government has done an acceptable job at filling the shoes of a  husband and father.  Sufficient protection and provision is available and often provided, as a result some men conclude, I am not really needed or important in anyone’s life. I will live for myself.

Men require more than challenge, they also need the powerful influence of femininity.  Why?  Because men need nurturing too.   (Did I say mothering?  No, I said nurturing!) Mothering has a ruling influence that will keep a man from taking responsibility.  Femininity has a nurturing influence that strengthens and inspires a man to take responsibility.  Learn the difference.

It  is soo easy.  It takes your intelligence and your natural ability.  To say  to husbands things like: “Without you is a void”. ” Without you there’s no completion”. “Together we can do this”. ” I need you.”  “I will not reject you because you have garbage in your life (and we all do)  but I will embrace you and the pain you bring”.  “And I, with my love and nurture, will help you become the greatest man you can be.”  Now that is raw nurture at its best.  It has life changing power.

You need to love them with and through your feminine nature. Within this nature resides the power of life giving change.  Your pride and your fear are your biggest enemies.  They will put up a fight.  My question to you is who’s going to control your life?  Your pride and fear or your feminine nature.  Humility and trust is the engine that empowers your femininity.  Pride and fear are the invaders who want to choke your femininity to death.  But alas,  what a proud world we live in, no humility so much pain so much self protective fear, so much a mess.

For other men words of inspiration: Be the man, be strong, take charge, recognize and show appreciation to men when they fulfill the masculine.  Teach your sons the requirements of masculinity.  This should be the first and most important lesson in their lives.  Growing to understand how to live in harmony with their nature.  If you guide them on this path, they will love you, and be full of gratitude towards you when they are older.  They will benefit, those around them will benefit, their children will benefit…you will have set off a chain reaction of peace and blessing.

Next I would like to save many of you time and energy.  If you believe the essence of love is found within the realm of satisfied feelings and fulfilled dreams than please don’t waste your time in this website.  It is not for you.  There are thousands of blogs and sites that will cater toward the how to’s of meeting  your “needs”.  (excuse me for a chuckle here and a “good luck with that.”)   On the other hand if your understanding includes self sacrifice, forgiveness, and embracing, and not running from, pain, then you are safe to continue.

I recognize that excessive emotional pain, the result of failed masculinity, is one of the primary reason today women are saying, “no more” to  their feminine nature.  They have wounds and scars as a result of their “trusting.”   Why trust again.  Why?  because it is not masculinity that does the scaring.  Masculinity always protects. Instead it is selfish boyhood wrapped in man’s clothing.  Your harm did not come from masculinity but from selfish boy-men  with underdeveloped masculinity. You can bring change. How?  By beginning to nurture masculinity in the men around you.  Help then learn the difference between boy-men whose focus is on themselves with underdeveloped masculinity and genuine masculine men whose care and concern are for others.

I would encourage you, for your own peace and health,  don’t abandon your feminine nature which soars on wings of trust.  Please realize that pain and suffering are a part of everyone’s journey.  They are sculptures of the heart.  If we embrace them they can make your internal beauty astounding.  While rejecting them causes our hearts to grow cold.  We may never fly again.   The fear of pain and suffering will ground the flight of femininity.  Never again can one experience life from the heights of hope, faith and freedom.  And others will never benefit from the nurturing grace that are the results of your feminine influence.

Please don’t jump to conclusions and think that I am confining women to the kitchen and the bedroom.  No way,  I believe that through the influence of women the world becomes a much better place.  How that influence is channeled to the world is certainly an important issue something akin to nuclear energy.  Is it powerful? indeed.  Is it safe?  well that depends.  Does it need protection?  absolutely.

Nor am I casting judgement in the direction of any woman who has by the default of absentee masculinity, had to take on the responsibilities of masculinity.  Protecting, providing, bearing the weight of responsibility, all the while giving what nurture she has left.  No stones in this direction.  Only apologies for where men have failed.

But what I really want to be clear about is the divine design of masculinity and femininity.  Men and women are walking away from the responsibilities of their pre-wired natures.  They are exchanging it for other selfish egocentric options that sentence the world to ultimate dysfunction and brokenness.

Finally, I ask you to keep in mind, one parameter  to help you not “trip” on a path that promises the greatest peace and  lasting results, is to remember:   life is made up of rules and exceptions.  We should never make a rule based on an exception.  Instead anyone who studies life or nature can generally find the exception to a rule.  Unless you are talking about the math realm in which, I confess I am a simpleton.

Life works best when we follow certain  “rules” that promise the best result.  Can there be exceptions to these rules?  Most certainly.  Are we to change the rules based on these exceptions?  Certainly not,  without the effect of contaminating the whole.  Therefore I base my thought on what I believe and understand to be the “rules” of nature.  Perhaps you think you are an exception?  Maybe, but to change the general truths to cater towards your exception benefits no one.

I have a keen interest in the study of nature.  Not only the beautiful plant and animal life on this planet, but more particularly that of the man and the woman, and whoever created this whole thing as well.

This is my passion.  This is my pursuit.

Thus humbly it is my honor to present to you:  Defending Femininity.

Chris